Well, the time has come for my brother's trek north. His monthly stay with me is something that feels like a burden at times. But overall i'd say that it's a good time to spend time and simply allow him to come to a new place and relax.
What I can't seem to change is my own inner reaction to the thought of his coming to my house for 4 days. I immediately get in the groove of food, trips, and conversation that sometimes end in my being angry. What will I feed him? Where will I take him? How will his mood be? These are all questions that are normal but sometimes I think I'm "getting too old" for this!
So how do I prepare for Tom's trip North?
1. I make sure I give myself a healthy dose of "it's only for a few days.
2. I remind myself how important this trip is for HIM and how it replenishes HIS soul.
3. I make sure I have a working radio where he can listen to the Red Sox --he's a huge fan
4. I line up any odd jobs my neighbors need done in case he wants to earn some extra money (this changes depending on his mood)
5. I make sure to have healthy food in the house and easy cooking meals so as not to add stress about that each day.
I guess the main thing is to try with all my heart to enjoy his company because the truth is, he's very funny, loves sports and I love him. So when all else fails I fall back on these basic truths and forget all the rest! There is no changing mental illness, only your reaction to it -- even then it's a constant struggle.
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