Simplifying your life when dealing with someone's mental illness matters

If you are challenged in your life by a family member's mental illness consider how your environment impacts your ability to meet this challenge with grace and patience. Applying simple groundrules for living well can have a dramatic impact on living well in the face of dealing with another's mental illness. This is especially important to grasp because, like my situation, my brother has been struggling for years with mental illness. And although life goes on, it certainly makes things easier when my own life is in order! One of my all time favorite books is by a professional life coach, Talane Meidener, "coach Yourself to success". This book has a wonderful section on "clean up your act" dealing with clutter, time, organizing and saying "no" more often. Talane has a wonderful way of stating the obvious and this chapter is no exception!   

I've read and reread this chapter many times before actually taking any action. It's very interesting how I can collect knowledge, read books, surf the net and have all kinds of good intentions but never DO anyting with the information! Well, I have to say that once I decided to take action and make these things a priority for me, I felt a million times better.  So think about how you can improve your home or office by asking a few questions:

1. What 3 things bother you about your house or personal space? Is it a messy diningroom table ? An office that has no windows?  Think for a minute about what it will take to upgrade or change these three things? Are you willing to spend the time and money to do it?  How do you imagine feeling once you've solved these 3 things that drain you of time and energy?
2. What are three things in your life that you've done for years that you want to stop doing? This question is tricky because many times we are doing things out of habit and we tend to "think" we need to or enjoy doing these things. So think for a minute, what do you do during the course of your day, week, or month that is of no value to you but you do it anyway. This can include having an "open door" policy for friends and neighbors to drop by unannounced. Is this something you enjoy or does it drive you crazy? 
3. Take your list and pick one thing in each category to implement this week. If you decide that living with a messy refridgerator is unacceptable to you, decide to do something about it. Enlist your daughter or son to do this weekly in exchange for the car keys one night weekly! Delegation is a great option but the key is to set up the system so it continues without your needing to tend to it. Be sure that if you involve others, they are clear about their job and expectations rewards and consequences.

Remember, in the face of dealing with another's mental illness, you will need more time, patience and stamina. Improving your environment and making it the best it can be will empower and energize you!  Not to mention reducing your stress level and improving your own physical health.

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