Hello and welcome to "Survive to Thrive". While each family member's situation in different and unique, I have found that family members dealing with someone's mental illness need to keep their life in top form. Why is this important you may wonder, when it's the other person who needs help? Well as most caregivers understand, burnout and other physical and emotional consequences are there to meet you if you neglect yourself. In fact, there is a point where I'm no longer able to have fun with my brother if I allow him to usurp all my energy and life.
Below are the core essentials I have identified to a strong life when dealing with mental illness in the family. Carefully planning and working on your strong foundation will not only improve your outlook but will assist in giving you the stamina necessary to "weather the storm". As caregivers we know there is no panacea, however, developing a strong foundation in life will bolster your situation and focus your energies to live a full life in the face of dealing with another's mental illness.
Five core areas to pay special attention to for your own health as a "caregiver" -
- W e l l n e s s
- S o c i a l
- B o u n d a r i e s
- R e l a t i o n s h i p s
- C a r e e r - f i n a n c i a l
- S p i r i t u a l i t y
Of course this doesn't happen overnight. For me it was years before I started taking much better care of ME. And there were bottomless pit years where all there seemed to be was more illness, more stress and eventually an indifferent feeling toward the ill person.
I knew I was better than that. So little by little I focused on areas of my life in the above categories. Sometimes it was as simple as buying a "Daybook of Comfort and Joy" to keep me focused on the simple pleasures. Other times I realized that I had to raise my boundaries and protect what prescious time I had for me. This came in the form of cutting back on social things and things which I really didn't feel like doing. Out it goes! Remember, it can be something small or big. The main thing is to take an inventory of "what" is not working in your life and ask yourself "what can I do to improve this" today?
Step by step everything is achievable. Try to keep a list and report back to a trusted friend about your ideas. Putting them into action will make a difference in your life.
